../../extensions/custom_smilies_2/img1/biggrin2 IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 I said "May I have large bills, please?"

She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."


When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

"Hey!", I announced to the technician, "It's open!"

His reply: "I know. I already got that side."


We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, "Sir, you need a 1/4 horsepower motot."

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, "NO, it's not... Four is larger than two."


My son and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, "You gave me too much money."

I said, "Yes Iknow, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. "

She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing."

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1.75 cents in change.


A friend of ours lives in a semi rural area. She recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on their road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out there! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'"


My son went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. He asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce".

The clerk replied, "I'm sorry, but we only had iceburg lettuce."


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly, nodded, and said, "That's why we ask."


The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. He asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, he responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"


At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing", our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.


They walk among us......and they VOTE!

EDIT ================

And one from my own personal archives:

I called DirecTV to report that a power outage had apparently taken out my receiver box (it was powering on, but wouldn't go through the startup initialization. The CSR ended our "try this, try that" script by asking me to unplug the box from the power strip and plug it directly into the wall.

When I asked why, she said "Because the electricity coming out of the wall socket was different from the electricity coming out of the power strip."